Reinventing the Life of a Poet in the Modern World

Tag: Mary McCray

So That Happened

So as of late last week, all my websites have been moved. I was delayed one week off the master plan by a nasty bronchitis infection and a last-minute trip to LA to meet with ICANN and visit the LA Times Book Festival. More to come on the book festival. And I know I also owe this site a review of the Joan Didion exhibit from the LA trip before that (it’s half done).

Cher Scholar is back up and pontificating and finishing up the four-year review of all Cher’s television shows from the 70s and 80s. And this site, Big Bang Poetry, is slowly waking up as well with a few new essays and reviews of essays. I have a big stack of poetry books to review. The last site to move, marymccray.com, was the most complicated lift (with all its axillary pieces), but I’m back to adding and continuing its digital explorations. The popular pages have been updated as well, like the Difficult Book page.

Buy oy vey! It’s been a trial. Maybe this is why I’ve been sick four times since Thanksgiving.

There’s still plenty of work left to do, like find and fix each site’s broken parts and figure out what to do about site measurement.

But the ordeal is officially over. I think we can all agree to pretend the last six months just didn’t happen. Boo.  I’ll be working on some offline projects, too, including a long epic I’m working on, a history poetry project and I have to get some health stuff taken care of due to the aforementioned four take-downs, possibly some ICANN news coming up, a lot going on.

Thanks for hanging in there or returning to see the dust settle.

NaPoWriMo 2020: The Final Set

Baddass

Yesterday was the end of NaPoWriMo 2020. I’m sure coronavirus made these poems bleaker than normal. I’m also sure my zapped energy levels made some of the poets a bit Wallace-Stevensish and too vague on certain days.

The month sped by however. Each year feels like it's a shorter time span of work.

Notes on my process this year: the only thing I researched ahead of time were the list  of self help topics. Each morning around 8 am I began to work out a poem with some raw notes. Then I’d log onto my computer and draft the thing out, polishing it as much as I could before I ran out of time and had to start work.

Here is the full set:

The Death of Self Help

  1. Mastering the Wheel
  2. Nobody Else Is Their
  3. Setting Goals
  4. Take It Easy
  5. MessyVerse
  6. The Magic of PPT
  7. Ten (Contextually Snarky) Words to Improve Your Vocabulary
  8. Mouse in the Maze
  9. Sinkhole
  10. Time Boss
  11. Good Habits are Rice Cakes
  12. Dealing with Grief
  13. Preach
  14. Good Boy!
  15. Identity Politics
  16. Vulnerable 
  17. Syns of the Self
  18. Treasure Island
  19. Electric Fence
  20. Fresh Start
  21. Something Is Happening
  22. Self-Help Workbook
  23. Side One: Furtiveness
  24. Side Two: Assertiveness
  25. Restaurants
  26. Scaffolding
  27. Range of Motion
  28. The Great Love
  29. Mount Catharsis
  30. The End

 

New CMP Review

CMP-cover-6x9-25sep18Many thanks to Ann Cefola for her kind review of CMP in annogram.

"Poet Mary McCray’s astonishing second book, while reading like a novel, integrates highly crafted poetics. A gorgeous immersion into southwestern landscape, the Primer is as much a spiritual as external journey. Easterner Silas Cole finds camaraderie in the company of the mysterious Coyote, the quiet cook, and gambling cowboys who teach him to reel in his soul as well as the herd they drive. While Silas can “extract the holes of bullets” and “save them like buttons”, he ultimately learns "nothing but earth wants your bones. This is a gritty and lyrical narrative I could not resist."

This year I was catching up on old New Yorker issues and I found this very funny wild west mashup, "Frontier Squad Goals."

Some funny samples:

Avoid feeling guilty for saying no to future social plans that would be difficult to attend because we will be living in a new place, for which we have no map.

Eat more unprocessed, clean food, with no mold, no obvious discoloration, and no parasites.

Cowboy Meditation Primer: Covers and Photos

60964-large-1024x536That dog is me.

Things have been cray-cray in the land of McCrayCray. The project to publish the new book of poems started in January, but since then I've been swooped off into another, more demanding, job. I've been to Ohio and back to bring a truck load of furniture to Albuquerque from Cleveland, where my parents live now. Then we found out we have to move in two months so we're trying to find new digs. Then our car breaks. Then there's a family reunion to get organized for. Actually two. I've been a big grumps 24/7. And of course no problems happen sequentially. They happen concurrently. So while I'm losing my mind, I'm finding some thread of sanity in the lessons of Cowboy Meditation Primer. Not that I'm great at it, mind you, but it's a practice and you just get tons more practice during the hard times.

But the book….is still…on schedule…for September.

It's been rough though. To make matters worse, I decided to write a Traveling Guide/Reader's Companion for the book, a map for traveling along the Goodnight Loving Trail with the characters of the book. The guide is also packed with New Mexico history and Zen Buddhist ideas referenced in the book, as well as where to stop along the way. It will all be a free and downloadable in September when the book goes on sale.

I might not get the eBook done, but…you can't have everything. Anyway, despite my complaining, a lot of great stuff has come together in the past few months. 

PhotographersArtist Emi Villavicencio did the cover for my last book of poems (see right) and I had such a good time working with her for that I decided to see if she was available for the new book. Lucky for me she was. We worked on this project from about late February to the end of June. 

I told her we needed some kind of mashup between cowboys and Buddhists. So she sent me some pictures of belt designs and tattoos just so we could brainstorm off them. By April, she sent me the following drawings to see what would work.

Drawings
I loved the Zen sand garden imagery and I also loved the simplicity of the rope, except it looked too much like a cattle brand. Ouch. So then Emi came up with the following two variations based on that feedback: the first based off of a style of Buddhist guidebooks and the second based off an idea we had for spurs dragging lines across the sand. I loved both of them and it was hard to choose which direction to go in.

Buddhistbook Boots 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From there it was working on variations of the boot idea, which we picked because the book has so references to taking care of your feet and feet being a focus of meditation. We could also focus on the iron-rich, red quality of New Mexico dirt. I was worried the New Mexico sky was the only element missing from the design, it's vibrant white and blues. So we decided the title might be a way to fit that element in.

In the first draft, Emi sketched everything out loosely. Then we tried a translucent boot and a more Zen font for the second version. The final draft returns to the more stylized cowboy boot, richer dirt, and the blue sky font coloring.

  First Final Real-final

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a fun process. Meanwhile, I needed to get an author photo shot. Stephanie Howard did the photography in Marina Del Ray, California, for the last book. But she has since moved to Atlanta. Finding new people for this part of the project proved difficult. People I contacted weren't available at the same time, strangers wanted money up front. Shoots got planned and cancelled. Finally, my co-worker in Media Production here at CNM, Pat Vasquez-Cunningham, suggested some simple shots with his tintype app. We went down to Old Town Albuquerque one evening and took some great shots.

His app does crazy things to make your eyes look ghostly like a tin-type photo. I call the last one my country-music-album cover. 

4667 4714 4733 4741

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The shirt I'm wearing I just bought from my new favorite story, Soft Surroundings. It's called, (I kid you not), a poet's blouse, I suppose due to its ruffled sleeves, as if it were a shirt Lord Byron would wear. 

Pat also took some shots that didn't turn out for some awesome reasons, including a series where his camera would only focus on my hands. I liked that since my hands did all the work (or a lot of it) typing out the book. In this photo you can also see my great-grandfather's cowboy boots on my feet.

4731

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here he is wearing his own boots with my Dad and Uncle.

Daddytom

 

The Map of the Cowboy Meditation Primer

CavafySo I have been plugging away on my upcoming book project and meanwhile an unexpected work-life reorganization happened. It caused a definite shift in work-life and became an occasion to send to some colleagues the following poem I found around the same time written by Greek poet C.P. Cavafy:

As Much As You Can

And if you cannot make your life as you want it,
at least try this
as much as you can: do not disgrace it
in the crowding contact with the world,
in the many movements and all the talk.

Do not disgrace it by taking it,
dragging it around often and exposing it
to the daily folly
of relationship and associations,
till it becomes like an alien burdensome life.

Glt1So I'm in the middle of processing the job changes and continuing to work on this book and working on NaPoWriMo poems. It's been very hectic and exhausting.

But here's my official book description:

It's the late 1870s and Silas Cole is a heartbroken journalist who joins a cattle drive in order to learn how to be a real cowboy. He meets a cattle company traveling up the Goodnight Loving Trail in New Mexico Territory. Not only do the cowboys give Silas a very real western adventure, they offer him a spiritual journey as well.

This book has been in progress over ten years. I started it shortly before I met Monsieur Big Bang while we were both still living in Los Angeles. The project started as an amalgamation of family history and the reading of (literally) 40 books on Zen Buddhism. Surprisingly, the family stories fell completely away and the set of poems became a fictional account of a cattle trail ride up the Goodnight Loving Trail, a few years after Charles Goodnight had stopped using it.

You probably know the trail and its cowboys, Charles Goodnight and Oliver Loving, from the famous miniseries, Lonesome Dove, based on the Larry McMurtry novel fictionalizing their experiences in the late 1860s after the Civil War.

I've discovered there are no good maps of the Goodnight Loving Trail, especially as it travels through the state of New Mexico. I've even gone to the Charles Goodnight museum in Texas and various museums of cattle history to try to find a better one. No dice. These two maps attached are the best I can find online.

The well-known portion of the route started in Texas and traveled to Fort Sumner, New Mexico, then up the mountain route of the Santa Fe Trail through Trinidad in Colorado and stopped initially in Pueblo and later went on to Cheyenne, Wyoming.

In the book he collaborated on with J. Evetts Haley, Charles Goodnight talks about an alternate route he used in order to avoid Uncle Dick Woottons pretty steep Raton Pass toll. Goodnight's alternate route veers off from Fort Sumner to the ghost town of Cuervo, New Mexico, up through what is now Conchas Lake and the famous Bell Ranch, up the mesa near Mosquero, New Mexico, and then up to the grassy plains around Capulin Volcano and through another mountain pass north of Folsom, New Mexico, (which is famous for prehistoric Folsom man and a famous flood where the switchboard operator died trying to save all the village people.)

My poems follow this alternate trail and swerve back to meet the original trail in Trinidad, Colorado. I'm not sure that's what really happened (Trinidad specifically). Goodnight's story is vague on that detail. But he does mention specifically the New Mexico locations of Fort Sumner, Cuervo, Fort Bascom, Capulin Volcano and Folsom. There's also a historical marker in Mosquero confirming the trail came through their town. In his book, Goodnight also talks about a hill that is probably located along the mesa that rises up from Bell Ranch to Mosquero, that particular hill having been named "Goodnight Hill" in his honor, but no local histories or local people I've asked have ever heard of a hill by that name.

Along with stories of the Goodnight Loving Trail, these books also contributed a great deal to the new poems:

Gnt2"The Prairie Traveler" by Randolph Macy, which was an official rewrite of the highly misleading and inaccurate book "Emigrants Guide to Oregon & California" by Lansford Hastings, more famously known as "The Hastings Guide."

"The Log of a Cowboy" by Andy Adams which was the personal story of one of the cowboys who allegedly traveled with Charles Goodnight.

The book's permissions are sorted out, the book has an ISBN number. The editor has come back with edits and the layout is pretty much finished, which always forces some pretty tough choices to be made around orphan, window and longer lines.

I'm waiting for the proofs to be sent out for blurbs and we're also working on the cover design and photos.

If all goes well, I'm hoping for a September publication.

I'm taking lots of deep breaths in the meantime, deep breaths at home, at work, probably in my sleep…

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