Things are a bit too busy for what I can handle right now. I feel like I've been buzzing and not in a good way. Stress has also attracted two illness in two weeks.

So I'm looking for ways to clean out, say no, calm down. As much as I want to do everything (and I do), my head is spinning and I have no free time to decompress from all the classes, work stuff, writing projects and house obligations (fall yard cleanup!). And then life stuff: like car accidents and other mishaps. I started cleaning out my office this week and asking myself the tough question: am I going to live long enough to do this crazy idea I had when I was 25? 

The Prompt: Accomplishments

This week's prompt:

"Don't be satisfied with your accomplishments nor be dissatisfied with them."
        – Unknown

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…NOT inspired by my drawing:

Labor's rituals,
prayers of the task and muscle,
sweat's epiphanies

The Reflection

I feel my drawing and my haiku went in two directions this week, maybe because there was an unintended time gap between them. When I did the drawing I was reflecting on my whole life's achievements boiled down to a tombstone epigraph and how not to take that seriously. Eventual death, in case I don't have 50 more years, also crept into my clean-out decisions this week.

But the haiku was more about life, about how the work is the thing, so much more exciting than the praise or regrets about the final results. My happiest is when I'm embroiled, involved, consumed (and yes, inundated) with the tasks regarding whatever it is I'm trying to do. The biggest accomplishment then would be to keep working on something (until it makes you crazy, I guess).

What do you think?

Some weeks are harsh. Thursday was like a harsh week in a day! A car accident in the family, one of my aunts passed away after a long illness, and some crazy work stress for the busiest day of the year. I'm kind of deflated right now. I feel like I should watch Terms of Endearment and sob like a cartoon.

But I've been attending a 10-day Narcissism seminar through Sounds True and it's been really mind expanding, the topic taken from many facets so far: workplace, politics, relationships, the larger culture, the spirit…I'm thinking about ways to be in the world differently.

The Prompt: What To Say

This week's prompt:

"A wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool because he has to say something."
        – Plato

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing:

Bird tweets by day, then
Crickets are prophets, silence
Lies beyond the field

The Reflection

So both death and narcissism were on my mind this week. There's a cemetery up in Harding County where I can see myself in eternal rest. It's flat smack in the middle of the high plains prairie and there's nobody for miles but a few trees and meadowlarks. It feels very much like the afterlife just visiting and the horizon line looks like the great beyond, the unseen future. Many of my aunts and uncles and my grandparents are there "beyond the field." 

And I had nothing for the drawing this week. I was frustrated trying to figure out how to depict silence and then with relief realized a drawing wasn't always necessary. Silence was my drawing. I guess I was struck dumb by the prompt. Sometimes the lack of an answer is an answer.

How did you approach this one?

Where have I been? I lost two weeks in there!! Okay, one Friday I just plum forgot to post and then the next week was INSANE. The whirlwind included visitors, covering for someone at work with family care commitments. But so much has been going through my head: new MOOCs, short little trips, the holidays coming, a very sad death in the family just yesterday. So all the things I wanted to talk about came and went like a bird passing through. Did I mention Halloween??

That’s okay. If they were important, hopefully those thoughts will come back.

The Prompt: What You Think You Know

This week’s prompt:

“Knowledge is learning something everyday. Wisdom is letting go of something everyday.”
        – Unknown

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing:

Leaving is for now
Dropping is for the season
They will all come back

The Reflection

This one is always work-to-do for me, the little Hermione that I can be. But I hear it in other people too: knowledge as a shield, as a way to gain traction in the world, as a way to master (even the word!), a way to elevate yourself above those without the knowledge. Sometimes you can plainly see this working intentionally in people. Other times, it’s completely subconscious.

Which is what makes beginners mind so, so handy. If you think you’re an expert at something: think again. Start over. 

I do this myself with instructional books of poetry. My first thought when I buy a book on how to write poetry (which I’m still doing 35 years in) is disappointment that the book is too “beginners.” I’m ready for the advanced stuff, teacher! Give me the hard stuff. And undoubtedly we get a lot from advanced books which crunch our brains. But I’m always humbled by some little gem hiding out in a beginners book, some perspective I’ve never ever considered. Admittedly if feels tedious at first, but it’s the surest way to true discovery: losing the crutch of the knowing. 

I think this is why teachers love beginners students: because they learn something from them. It’s also why beginner poems are so exciting: they’re freewheeling, and not from rules, but from innocence.

Give it a try.

This week's prompt is about erasing, which reminds me of erasers, an object I particularly love.

My first eraser set came in a tiny Hello Kitty package when I was four or five years old in 1975 (back when Hello Kitty was new and happily bizarre). I've long since lost that little set but when I started working at CNM years ago I had too much desk space and went on a eraser collecting binge.

Sadly, my collection is crammed into my home office.

Back at CNM I also started an Eraser Manifesto which became a poem earlier this year.

The Prompt: Erasure

This week's prompt:

"Only the hand that erases can write the true thing."
        – Meister Eckhart

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing (it's a vinyl record, but it looks more like a boob to me):

Scratches of memory
Harsh runs the eraser
Thinning the ink trees

The Reflection

This is true with cleaning the house, cleaning your head, cleaning your writing and gardening: the art of taking something out is painful but makes a beautiful thing. It's a fine balance to learn how not to erase too much but also to take out just enough. It's fun to practice.

An eraser is a symbol as much as a pen or pencil of creativity and balance.

I need to take this lesson and thin out an eraser collection, eh?

What do you think?

This week autumn came….like Thursday. It was hot and then it was not. We had a hard freeze last night. The trees are confused. I have new sunflowers coming up! I traveled up to Colorado last weekend to continue researching the Goodnight Loving Trail for Cowboy Meditation Primer. It rained for hours on Friday, was incredibly windy on Saturday and sunny all day Sunday and Monday. Put up Halloween this week in anticipation of October guests! It smells good out.

The Prompt: Lessons

This week's prompt:

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."
        – Pema Chödrön

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing (it's a vinyl record, but it looks more like a boob to me):

Like a haunted sound
that plays over and over
skipping at midnight

The Reflection

Not much to say about this one. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts when I've figured out what it is I need to know!

🙂

Now you.

This week was pretty mellow. Taking a class. Getting reading done. Did some weeding. Just came back from lunch with old work friends. Nothing spectacular and yet spectacular things all around.

The Prompt: Being Judgey

This week's prompt:

"Wise men don't judge–they seek to understand."
        – Wei Wu Wei

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing (which I have to admit I copied from another design online):

The song of the depths
are echoing the shallows
Of bullfrogs and birds

The Reflection

Another challenging prompt. You have to judge something: like murderers and the Holocaust. But do we need singing, cooking and camping competitions?

My drawing this week was a cryptic homage to The Voice which is far less judgey than some things out there. But it's whole existence is to pass judgement. I can be very judgey. I learned how to do it from a friend of mine and then years and years of practice. It's addictive because it gives you the space to pontificate, which is, let's face it, kinda fun. I even used to love judgey zines, whose whole point of being was to judge (hence the transgression joy of them), like Beer Frame, a zine which wrote judgey letters to junk food companies. Another one I loved was The Curmudgeon' Home Companion, a small two page newsletter of grumpiness with recipes. Food and judgey seem to always go together. 

Anyway, like anything else, it's good to practice this stuff in moderation.

Judge away.

I loved this week! So happy to be back to my day-to-day job and I got so much done! It was lovely. Pot of Gold. Check.    

The Prompt: Pot of Gold

This week's prompt:

"When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
        – Lao Tzu

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing (which I have to admit I copied from another design online):

Through the fog of want:
the turret and golden leaves.
You're already there

The Reflection

I love the Kool Aid guy…enough to inspire my pop of gold face. And it's almost egregious that when they say "don't drink the kool aid," they're really talking about the sinister poison of propaganda disguised within the innocent sugary drink. Arms akimbo, he's really a sassy little pitcher.

Now your turn.

So much insanity this week and last. I've made it through two weeks of boss-gone coverage. Did some stress eating. Went to see the movie It.  I am looking forward to getting away soon, getting back into the routine. 

The Prompt: Letting Go

This week's prompt:

"Let go or be dragged."
        – Zen Proverb

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing (which I have to admit I copied from another design online):

Sitting and waiting:
Is it holding on or
Is it letting go?

The Reflection

This is great advice and I love this quote. So true. Tough love. And yet…am I the only one who has trouble getting to 100% on this? It's hard to know when is the time to give up before quitting too soon. If you someone who has a tendency to quit too soon, you know what I mean. Where is the line between an endurance run and futility?

There's plenty for me to let go of (mistakes I've made, stupid things I've said, fussy judgments I have)…but what about the good stuff about being dragged: on a sled, when you're being rescued, in a tickle fight…

Half the time I'm just winging it. And I worry about it; but maybe I need to let go of that?

Now your turn.