Reinventing the Life of a Poet in the Modern World

Category: Poets in Action (Page 2 of 14)

NaPoWriMo 2021 is Coming

Sweep-and-shepIt's that time of year again. National Poetry Writing Month starts this Thursday. To be honest, I don't have it in me to write a poem a day all April this year. I'm working on a long HTML project for a class, plus I'm wiped out from the Covid-adventures with my parents and I have guests coming soon. And my brain is fried. But I don't want to miss a year of NaPoWriMo.

So, I figured out a compromise. I've had a set of fairy tales poems I've been sitting on for decades and have had no time to revise them, although I've added a few here and there. Plus, I really don't think they'll ever find a home in a book; it's been done (Anne Sexton).

I could easily revise a poem a day and have decided to use those poems to gather together a set of 30 for NaPoWriMo. Some of them are in pretty good shape but some are pretty rough. Hopefully this will be productive work.

See you on Thursday.

Letters to Big Bang Poetry

LetterseditorsFrom mid-2019 to fall of 2020 I received a slew of letters to Big Bang Poetry. But I'm terrible at responding in a timely manner. So don't come here looking for help on a class assignment that's due tomorrow morning is all I'm saying. But I love getting letters and I'll try to respond here eventually.

(1) In August 2019 a name named Pieter from the Netherlands wrote this:

“For one of our clients I am currently working on a magazine which will be distributed in an amount of 1000 copies among their business relations. I would like to publish your poem ‘Writing Poems 9 to 5’ as part of a spread with a background image of Windows 10. I like your poem as being kind of a meta description of poetry and it fits good with the image thanks to your reference to Microsoft: “Microsoft changed everything with their windows.”

This was the poem from NaPoWriMo 2019: 

Writing Poems 9 to 5

My first job was data entry, with all those awful numbers.
The next ones were flush with time and words were incalculable,
floating out of copiers and stenographers. I hand-wrote them then

in-between walking memos to real, plastic inboxes.
Microsoft changed everything with their windows
in which I could type out my poems. After all,
writing poems looks awfully similar to working.
And instead of office supplies, I began to steal time.

I snuck words in through open windows,
met them in small storage rooms, had conferences
with them at lunch. I sat in ergonomic chairs
while they reclined on the yellow, lined paper.

Sometimes I had to cajole them.
Sometimes they were team players.
Sometimes they were only wanting to gossip.
Sometimes they came out of the mouths of people
standing unawares in front of my desk. Sometimes
they didn’t show up to work, but I couldn’t fire them.

They liked to be fussed over, rearranged.
They wanted to be knit and spaced.
All they wanted was my attention.
And they must have known I would never give them up
for all the money. Because at the end of the day,
when they took their leave, it always sounded good.

We came to a nominal monetary agreement but then I never heard back so I'm guessing the client didn’t like the poem as much as Pieter did. Wah wah.

(2) In August 2020 a woman named Angelica wrote:

“Hello, I’m doing a research project for school on the influence of cognitive biases on business decision making and one of the sources I need is a poem. I read your poem Irrational escalation and I feel it incorporates my topic. I understood the first stanza; however, I wasn’t too clear about how to interpret the rest. I was wondering if you have the time to explain it to me. Thank you! From a highschool student in need to pass her AP Seminar class.”

This was the poem from NaPoWriMo 2015: 

30 Poems About Suffering: Irrational Escalation

The phenomenon where people justify increased investment in a decision, based on the cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the decision was probably wrong. Also known as the sunk cost fallacy.

The Donner Party refusing to stay put,
Mark Twain’s four million dollar investment
in the Paige Compositor, an early automatic
typesetting machine, Paige taking Twain’s money
for 14 years while other machines prevailed.

A project of biases like this.

It is the broken heart bias, the grit bias.
Tenacity like a tin ear. The fellow who completes
what he has, dammit, set out for.

Does it take decades anymore? Months across
the mountain pass? A lie you tell yourself
as fast as a tweet?

In times like these a robot could grab it—
your timely mistake and capitalize
your catastrophes . No leak. No hack.
No time to adjust to fortune’s funny ironies.

What happens too fast, what happens slow and long—
there’s always a spot of space to stop for,
time to consider time itself in your hand
with its diamond faces. What are you doing
and should you not pivot slightly to the side?

I love the idea that a business class might be requiring poetry research. My response: "I'll try to explain it with some questions…

The first stanza is just examples of historical people who have refused to give up no matter how dire the situation.

Stanza 2. "A project of biases like this." — like this project of me writing these 30 poems. 🙂
 
3. Why might you might not want to give up, what motivates you to not give up despite all the evidence?
 
4. How long would it take to abandon your bad idea? The poem was inspired by a tweet so does Twitter help us or not help us to realize when we're wrong?
 
5. Is it because we're human and not machines?
 
6. Would it help if we slowed down our thinking process?

Natgeo(3) In October 2020 Robert wrote:

“I found your short poem The Bosque online and really connected with it. I’m making a short film about the Bosque for my capstone documentary class at Santa Fe Community College and was wondering if I could use your poem in the film. I think it will be a really good fit for what I’m trying to capture. Of course I would credit you.”

Here's the poem from NaPoWriMo 2014:

30 Poems About Language : The Bosque

Not the fog of memory,
the fog of a fugitive concentration.
Letting go of the handrail
and wandering in the bosque.
There is no memory there.

How exciting! I said okay and asked to see the film when it was done. He showed me an early cut and my parents and I were able to watch it together in Cleveland. If the film ever becomes public, I'll post the link here. The photo above is from the National Geographic article on the Rio Grande Bosque.

( Paulcelan4) In October 2020 someone named Lacey wrote:

"I’m reading Paul Celan. I came across this poem and I need an expert’s take on what it could possibly mean. I have my own…impression but I want to flesh it out. The poem is:

'Each arrow you loose is accompanied by the sent-along target into the unerringly-secret tumult.'”

This was a fascinating question and typical enigmatic poem for Celan, made even more fascinating by the fact that I found multiple alternate translations online. This question even inspired me to read one of the collected translations.

To me the particular translation above seems to be about how the object of your desire(s) can get tangled up into the chaos of your affections. 

But some versions didn’t seem as negative in connotation. So I tracked down the original German poem and found a native German speaker to provide a literal translation. My friend Julie hooked me up with her friend Heike's husband Joe who said,

"I went a bit more literally:

'Every arrow that you send its way accompanies the shooting target into the undeviating, secret scrimmage.'

To me that describes a situation, like in ancient times, where archers sent the arrows in the air targeting someone, but it could hit anything in a certain unknown range where the arrow went."

Totally different than my interpretation. Interestingly Paul Celan was the subject of a recent New Yorker article in November 2020, “How Paul Celan Reconceived Language for the Post-Holocaust World.” Turns out this is the 50-year anniversary of his death.

In the article they quote Celan talking about the “thousand darknesses of murderous speech” (which is timely since which we are living through murderous speech again from neo-fascists and QAnon. Examples include the rally cry “death to democrats” and the threats of beheadings against public servants who disagree with their dear leader.

Both of Celan's parents were murdered during the Holocaust and Celan spent his career dealing with the atrocities committed by the Nazis in a language “sullied by Nazi propaganda, hate speech and euphemism.” Sound familiar?

Hans Egon Hothusen, a former S. S. officer who became a critic for a German literary magazine, called Celan's famous poem "[Deathfugue]" "a Surrealist fantasia” which was both a denial of Celan's own experience and humanity, spoken by a residual Nazi attempting to control the narrative. Even after the war ended, Celan was still trolled by anti-semites.

Stephen-Vincent-Benet(5) In November of 2020 Alex wrote:

"I was very drawn to one of the poems I read on your website because it seems eerily similar to how I view American leadership the last 4 years. It begins with “you mistake me.” The poem doesn’t seem to have an author, title or date. Is this something you wrote? Can you provide any info at all?

In this case, Alex found the poem on my Poems About Dictators page.

My response:  That verse you indicated is part of a long poem called "Listen to the People" by Stephen Vincent Benet (from 1941). He's a great lost poet from the 1930s and 40s. The poem was so long I couldn't quote all of it so the ellipses (…) between the verses indicates there is text in-between which was not quoted. Here is a link to the full piece: https://www.poetrynook.com/poem/listen-people

 
Here's are some more interesting links about the poet:
 
(turns out he coined the phrase 'Bury my heart at wounded knee.')
 
 
 
I discovered this poet in the book "Revolutionary Memory" by Cary Nelson about labor poets who were lost or suppressed during the red scare. Vincent Benet also wrote the famous long poem "John Brown's Body" for which he won a Pulitzer Prize. Like a lot of other labor/leftist poets of the 1930s-40s, he's now out of print; but you can find used copies of his work around online.
 

Conspicuous Poetry Consumption: More Poetry Cards

20200605_191755_1591406275811_1593294942100001I’m currently working on a poetry project with playing cards, a regular poker-card sized deck. I come from a big poker playing family. Unfortunately, I am hopelessly terrible at poker and have lingering PTSD from these family games. Not only were they ruthless players but I was completely unable to see the patterns in poker hands, even with the cheat sheets my father created for me. I have a poker blindness it turns out. But I love the feel of a card deck in my hands, the very tactile slipperiness and the sound of a shuffling deck. I love to see some talented shuffler at work. I even liked building houses of cards. And as an extension of that, card designs is also fun and culturally interesting to me.

While trying to explain my own project to a friend of mine, I went through my house and realized I had quite a collection of cards, especially when I dug through the game closet. I had a book about Apache poker cards, a deck of historical Spanish playing cards (the real Wild West cards) purchased 20200605_192157_1591406517947_1593294982202from Bent's Fort, Phoenix cards (supposedly they tell you your past life), I Ching cards, cards from the games Masterpiece, Killing Dr. Lucky, 25 Outlaws (those cards were designed by Dave Mathews interestingly), Go Fish Modern Art cards, Agatha Christie game cards and some cards from a
game called Art Shark.

To help explain my project I also went online to find other existing card sets and purchased two additional decks plus another interesting poetry game. 

20200719_182218Divining Poets: Emily Dickinson

In a 1-card instruction, David Trinidad writes about the magic 8-ball quality of Emily Dickinson’s poetry. He created a 78-card tarot-like deck of big cards you can use for 1 to 4 card divination spreads. I’m pretty ‘eh’ about divinations only because a bad or good read can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I mean, I’m skittish and superstitious enough as it is. And what good does it do you to know what’s coming up?

Anyway, I tried it out and each card has 1-2 lines of a Dickinson quatrain on its face. One drawback of the cards is the fact that there’s no attribution to the lines, so if you liked some you don’t have a clue (other than a google search) as to which Dickinson poem to seek out. The largeness of the cards was also a big unwieldy.

I pulled three cards and here were the results: 20200725_094726

One question I asked was about a sort of screwball endeavor and should I continue with it:

"Passenger – of  Infinity –"

(great.)

The second question was about guidance for a current project not going well:

            "Those not live yet
            Who doubt to live again —"

(I have no idea what that means.)

The third question was open ended, “tell me something about life?”

            "Many Things – are fruitless –
            ‘Tis a Baffling Earth –"

(snark!)

20200729_190313Rumi cards

These are very narrow cards that work similarly to the Dickinson deck, as divination. Created by Eryk Hanut and Michele Wetherbee, they have simple to complex spreads, using Rumi verse as life guidance. The set also comes with a somewhat big book (for card sets anyway) on the history of Rumi, divinations and how their project started.

I did the simplest spread of three cards.

The spread was as follows: First card (what brought on the situation), second card (what is the current situation) and third card (what will happen or “how to deal with it.” I love the double meaning of deal there, as a coping strategy and being dealt cards.) I can tell you I never "dealt well" with the poker cards I was dealt. Anyway,

The cards are coded into six families. The three I pulled were red (love), eggplant (ordeal), green (reward). 20200729_190427

  1. “You are the divine calendar
    where all destinies are written:
    the ocean of mercy where
    all faults are washed clean.”
  1. “Say with each breath
    ‘Make me humbler,
    make me humbler;’
    When you are
    small as an atom,
    you will know his glory.”
  2. “A swan beats its wings with joy;
    ‘Rain, pour on!
    God has lifted my soul
    from the water.’”

Moving on…

20200725_095233Paint Chip Poetry

This looked intriguing!

Some issues: it was hard to get the paint chips out while they were still in the box and yet pouring them out of the box felt like a potential nightmare. Also, they’re ordered in perfect color-wheel order. Playing with them messes that up. Not for OCD people. It bothered me and I’m not OCD. Also, there weren’t enough prompt cards.

Each paint chip has a corresponding word. The basic idea is that you pull 12 color chips and a prompt and write a poem using some or all of the paint chip's colors or words.

The first spread I sent to my friend Christopher. We’re doing a cross-writing project similar to what Wordsworth and Coleridge did. He wanted to write a new poem and asked for prompts. This box seemed a pretty handy prompt generator. We'll see what he comes up with. Here were my chips, prompt and the resulting poem.

20200725_095857Watermelon Mountain

                    Traveling
to Watermelon Mountain is to go
to the bottom of the sea after all
the blue has been washed away.
Coral fish skeletons swim around
mesas and settle in buttes.

                    I came to find
my grandmother’s hydrangeas
growing like a fence along the dirt road,
rustling like mystic royalty or a memory
of lavender blowing in the dust.

                    Euphoria is colorless
here, a breeze from the West
waffling around you, dappled
sunlight after the day’s spartan
monsoon.

                    The key is catching up
with the zephyr. The key is often surprising
Like every first kiss. You come upon it
and stop to say hello like an inchworm
considering the cottonwood leaf
with his many feet.

Poems in the World: Old and New

LookupVideo Poem

You may have seen this video by Gary Turk about disengaging from technology. It was recommended, ironically, by someone high up in our IT department.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY

Which is amazing in and of itself. This is the same person who told us last year to stop emailing each other so much and pick up a phone. I think people (even in tech) are starting to see the damage that tech can do to social engagement and work processes.

Another amazing thing: I took me a minute and 40 seconds to realize the video was a poem!

There's some great shots in the video, especially the time progression of the poet standing looking at his phone while tons of life passes him by unseen.

I found a not-so-nasty but rebuttal of a parody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jhd3HXcaEk

Although the parody is too dismissive of the problems in tech-dependency, it does make some good points. Like when your bike breaks, you can learn to fix it on YouTube. My family leaned on Zoom technology this weekend to enable more family to attend my aunt's funeral in the time of Covid-19. It's not all bad. It's just bad if you can't stop.

BlueuNew/Old Publication News

Good albeit old news. I'm in the not-so-latest issue of Blue Unicorn, February & June 2009 issue!
(not the same cover, left)

Back in 2008 I lived in Venice, California, with Mr. Cher Scholar and had the poem "Bluestone" from Why Photographers Commit Suicide accepted by this journal. But then we moved to Redondo Beach in early 2009 and it's possible my contributors copies did not forward.

Anyway, I assumed the magazine folded or they changed their mind. But years later I found a spreadsheet of my acceptances and I was reminded about this one. So for ten years my to-do list has included the task of researching the missing contributors copies.

I tried to email the magazine years ago but the email bounced. I tried again last month and they responded. And sent me my belated copies! Whoo hoo!

Inside is one of my many name experiments: I'm listed as Mary Elizabeth Ladd.

NaPoWriMo 2020: The Final Set

Baddass

Yesterday was the end of NaPoWriMo 2020. I’m sure coronavirus made these poems bleaker than normal. I’m also sure my zapped energy levels made some of the poets a bit Wallace-Stevensish and too vague on certain days.

The month sped by however. Each year feels like it's a shorter time span of work.

Notes on my process this year: the only thing I researched ahead of time were the list  of self help topics. Each morning around 8 am I began to work out a poem with some raw notes. Then I’d log onto my computer and draft the thing out, polishing it as much as I could before I ran out of time and had to start work.

Here is the full set:

The Death of Self Help

  1. Mastering the Wheel
  2. Nobody Else Is Their
  3. Setting Goals
  4. Take It Easy
  5. MessyVerse
  6. The Magic of PPT
  7. Ten (Contextually Snarky) Words to Improve Your Vocabulary
  8. Mouse in the Maze
  9. Sinkhole
  10. Time Boss
  11. Good Habits are Rice Cakes
  12. Dealing with Grief
  13. Preach
  14. Good Boy!
  15. Identity Politics
  16. Vulnerable 
  17. Syns of the Self
  18. Treasure Island
  19. Electric Fence
  20. Fresh Start
  21. Something Is Happening
  22. Self-Help Workbook
  23. Side One: Furtiveness
  24. Side Two: Assertiveness
  25. Restaurants
  26. Scaffolding
  27. Range of Motion
  28. The Great Love
  29. Mount Catharsis
  30. The End

 

NaPoWriMo 2020: The Death of Self Help Halfway!

Half

I'm halfway through National Poetry Writing Month for 2020. It's been quite a struggle to do these poems this year for some reason, maybe because the topic is kind of cerebral or maybe it's Coronavirus. Yeah, that's surely making the set a bit darker this year. Not just the virus itself but the politicization of the situations by people who are the primary victims of self-help mythologies.

Yeah, that doesn't help. 

Read the poems here: https://www.marymccray.com/napowrimo-2020.html

Haikus End & NaPoWriMo Beginning

I finally came to the end of 52 Haiku. Here is the full sequence. Many thanks to all the visitors to that year-long project.

In a few days I’ll be starting NaPoWriMo 2020 and this week I’m working on a sequence called The Death of Self Help (none too soon either considering coronavirus, which I predict will signal the end of the era of narcissism). I’m switching from the site Hello Poetry as it’s not a good fit anymore. Last year the bot-censors there did some strange re-editing of my poems around innocuous words. I’ll be posting the poems on a dedicated page at marymccray.com. Stay tuned.

52 Haiku, Week 52

Finish

Well, we are at the end of 52 Haiku. I am humbled to be here. And grateful that I was able to do this for 52 days. 

We also meet the end of this challenge at the exact week Coronavirus has provided us with a daunting new challenge (at least here in the U.S.). Life does not seem the same this week as it did last week. The world has shut down in so many ways. And that does not feel very good. The statistics are horrifying, almost 9 thousand people are dead after 4 months of this new virus. And that's just the beginning of a curve. The first wave is soon to end but nobody knows what to expect over the next few years. Our ancestors lived through similar uncertainties but this is frightfully new to us softy narcissists who are used to an easy life of predictability and self-gratification. For us, this week was a let-down of cancelled plans and disappointments. 

So what do you do when you're feeling this way? Well, you can keep going or start over. Plan A or plan B. Your choice. 

I can hear someone saying, "what about plan C: giving up?" And to that I would ask, "Is this part of a pattern for you, though?" If so, then that is really just plan B. Or if you're giving the final give-up, that's actually plan A for all anybody knows. 

And then there's this thing about finishing being scary. Ends are scary. They imply an unknown, "what next?" They are not the euphoria of a runner bursting through a ribbon. And they don't really exist anyway. You either keep going or start over.

The Prompt: Finishing

This week's prompt: 

"Even to be attached to the idea of enlightenment is to go astray."
        – Sengstan

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

20200320_095523

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing:

Leaves fall to the ground.
They rise up invisibly
and sprout from the dead.

The Reflection

Enlightenment is like an ending. It's not a helpful goal. When you get to the end of the line, or what feels like the end of the line, the best thing is to keep on going or start over, just like little poems do. And like leaves do. I picked up this leaf from a cottonwood tree on the grounds of Abiquiu Inn. It's become a memento to my transition between last week and this week. 

The last few days before I sequestered my self in a self-quarantine, I visited Abiquiu, New Mexico, with some friends. We hiked around the Abiquiu Inn (which we had to ourselves) and it's neighboring White Place and around Ghost Ranch, all areas were Georgia O'Keeffe lived and painted. It was very quiet and reflective. I thought about how there are no big sunset endings to life because life is really not movie-like or novel-like. Life is poem like, which is why philosophical people are drawn to it. And why haikus are good for it. 

To keep going, here some more Zen sayings to explore.

To start over with the challenge, visit the table of contents

Thank you for taking this challenge with me!

Off you go with my many hopeful blessings to you and meditations, haikus and drawings!

52 Haiku, Week 51

Fat-cat-artWow. This is our penultimate post. We only have one more meditation after this. I can't believe we're here. What a small weekly amazing journey this has been.

And as I'm writing this the world is facing a huge pandemic with Cornoavirus. My own company has moved to fully working from home and (making some sort of Internet history by) having meetings remotely. Toilet paper and hand sanitizer and faces masks are hard to come by. A lot of elderly people and those with health challenges already are getting very sick and many people are not making it. So, it's a very scary time with a lot of disruption and anxiety for people (not just regarding the virus but their jobs and all of life's schedules and plans being overturned).

Image at the top of the post is from FatCatArt. Go there for some cheer in these dark times. 

So what an amazing quote came up in my list of quotes today. I'll never stop being amazed at how apropos some of these weekly quotes have been. 

The Prompt: Challenges

This week's prompt: 

"We are not disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us."
        – Epictetus

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

20200312_085741

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing:

Turn and a mountain!
Gift of stones or the bar against
Dreams of mountain.

The Reflection

Of course there are some challenges that should be respected as real challenges and absolutely sucky things: anything to do with war or similar violence against people. And coronavirus. But that still leaves a whole mess of challenges we overreact to, challenges that we feel we can't overcome, mountains we can't climb. My M.O. as a kid was "Oh no, I can't do that!" Failure seemed too heartbreaking to bear. And then later I learned a lot of good outcomes and knowledge result from the disastrous and hilarious ways we deal with challenges– if we look at them in a positive light. And if we have a sense of humor about the results. This has helped me do many a household maintenance project I never would have believed I could do: calking, plumbing, wielding a leaf blower. I can tell you I curse every draw string I've had to pull out of a hoodie that just got out of the dryer and I have not mastered even simple sewing. But how small these things look in the face of a word like pandemic.

So fascinating to me that toilet paper is the thing that flew off the shelves at Costco before food. We're shitting our pants way too much due to fear and stress, instead of good fiber products.

 

It's your second-to-last turn! How exciting!

52 Haiku, Week 50

If you've been following the caronavirus stories or political news stories, everyone sounds like they're down in the dumps. Even some of my relatives-of-another party are saying they're worn down by politics and viruses. It's a good time to feel blue. I'd say it's a good time to give everybody a hug but it's actually not a good time for that.

The Prompt: A Good Cry

This week's prompt: 

"If you haven't wept deeply, you haven't begun to meditate."
        – Ajahn Chah

First task is to sit for a meditation on that for 5-10 minutes or however long you feel is good to you.

The Drawing

20200306_091822

My Haiku

…inspired by my drawing:

Waterfalls, feeling
all the sufferings, filling
the pool with beauty

The Reflection

Not everyone loves a good cathartic cry. There are still a lot of folks who feel crying shows weakness, even touchy-feely types. Crying is a line they will not cross. They'll do intensive body cleanses involving drinking nightmare concoctions for seven days (that's makes me want to cry), or mental intense psychological mental cleanses (ones that don't involve crying anyway). Imagine a waterfall that refused to flow. 

 

How does it feel for you?

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